did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
