So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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