Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
