I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
