I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
