Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
