Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
