Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
