I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
