Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
