Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
