come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
