Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
