Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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