I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
