I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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