I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
