My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
