i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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