I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
