I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
