let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
