Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
