dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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