Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
