sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
