Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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