come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
