i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
