And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
