My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck appropriateness.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
