I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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