I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
