I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
