Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The beer is more important than you right now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need to sanitize my soul.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
