Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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