I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
