Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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