No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
