i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
