he puts the penis in happiness.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
