just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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