Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
