i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
