After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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