And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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