i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
