Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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