Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
