we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
