that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
