so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
