I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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