i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
