whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She bit a glass in half.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
