I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
