I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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