Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
